I think I might have to write another book.
This book would consist of moments like what happened to me tonight:
Tonight I got on the bus and, as happens on busses, the driver had stuck something over the slot where you dip your bus pass. This tells all riders that they do not have to pay as the meter is not working. I was on the phone, and the only person on the bus, so the driver just stuck his hand over the slot to let me know I shouldn’t dip my pass.
Anyway, as we headed downtown we picked up more passengers. As more people got on the bus, the driver became more animated. He started to get very excited about the fact that his passengers would not have to pay to ride his bus. Eventually, he began greeting new passengers with, “Happy Birthday!” at which point they would get confused and not realize the meter was broken and still try to pay all the while wondering why the bus driver thought it was their birthday.
So the driver had to point out to everyone that the meter was broken and that was why he was saying happy birthday and then most of them would kind of laugh politely and then take a seat. And as always, there were people who would run to catch the bus and the driver would sit for an inordinate amount of time to let them catch up, which only made people more confused when he greeted them with his birthday wishes because they really thought he was talking about the fact he’d waited for them.
Then one woman got on, after running for the bus, and when the driver explained why he wished her a happy birthday, she replied, “Is this your last run of the night?”
He said, of course, “How could you tell?”
Meanwhile, I’m on the phone and unable to recount any of this to Lady Shutterbug who is getting more and more interested in what’s happening on my bus because she can hear the animated conversation going on but can’t make out any of the words. We hung up before I could explain the situation to her.
As I got off the bus, I thanked the driver and wished him a goodnight.
He responded in kind, and then said, “Enjoy the rest of your birthday!”