Blog-o-versary: A Highlights Reel

Well, darn.

I realized today that I missed my blog’s 4th birthday. What kind of blogger am I?

This blog began in November 2005. During that time I was still writing under the title of “Pink Nail Polish Junkie”. I wrote 8 posts in 2005:

Now maybe it’s just my puritan sensibilities acting up again and I’m being silly, but I was kind of upset by this. I mean, I can understand eating chicken fingers and pizza with your hands, but sushi?

In 2006 I managed a grand total of 19 posts. Perhaps that helps you understand why I didn’t transfer all of my archives to this domain. But 2006 was also the year I faced the dilemma of what should become of Magnetic Mary (and please enjoy the eerie foreshadowing and Simpsons references):

Dashboards are no longer made with magnetic properties. Even in the white jeep she had to be wedged on top of the rearview mirror, her tiny head making a “Mary groove” in the padded jeep ceiling (you’d better not sit in a Mary groove. That’s a VIP seat in hell waiting for you).

So Mary cannot return to my car. Hell, I’m not even Catholic (translation: God loves you better than me). I have no idea what the proper etiquette is for this situation. Can Mary sit on my bedside table and still work properly? Because she was designed to go in the car, and I know my car’s radio has a warning that says if it’s removed from the vehicle it will not work anymore.

But seriously. This is a really pressing matter. So I called up the only Catholic I thought wouldn’t laugh in my face. B. I calmly and rationally explained the situation to her. Nevermind that earlier I confessed to her I thought it might be cool to be Mormon for like, a week. She replied, “Are you reading from a script?” (Translation: I’m laughing in your face) and then static took over and the call was dropped. My Catholic connection was gone.

So here I sit, still wondering what should become of my Magnetic Mary. She attaches nicely to my headboard (yes, I tried) but it seemed so sacriligious to leave her on my bedpost that I couldn’t leave her there.

(In case you’re wondering, Mary now lives with my collection of Buddhas.)

There’s a major gap between November 2006 and March 2007. I got dumped in January – but that doesn’t explain the lack of December posts. Anyway, 2007 marked a big year for my blogging career. That was the year I decided to become a professional blogger. I came up with a new title: The Pink Pen.

2007 was also the year that I participated in the Blog-a-thon. July is packed with nonsense posts that I wrote every 30 minutes for 24 hours. I passed out somewhere at the end and didn’t actually complete the 24 hours of posting. But boy I tried!

2007 marked the year I recieved my first blog comments. I think this is why I posted more in 2007 than any other year – I finally knew I had a reader base. Miss Fiercehair proved early on that she would be my most loyal commenter. In 2008 she was also a loyal penpal:

Amanda is the only one keeping the USPS in business these days. Amanda and the IRS. Sounds like a children’s book.

In 2008 I was in graduate school I also was planning my move to NYC and being terribly angsty:

I think I’ve made my opinion on public restrooms pretty clear, but just to refresh your memory: I hate them and everything they stand for. Which means I was seriously displeased when I heard a girl talking on her cell phone a few stalls over. Are you {expletive} me?

Seriously bad pun aside, just because you are comfortable sharing your bodily functions with an unassuming conversationalist does not mean everyone is. Also, you are subjecting innocent bystanders (trapped bystanders, I must point out) to your pathetically uninteresting phone conversation. You are committing an egregious sin of cellular etiquette, and you completely deserve to meet with the tragedy that is dropping your phone in the toilet.

Yes, my blog was the place I could rant and rave until I was blue in the face. I needed that. But I’m also really glad those days are over! Still, 2008 was quite a year for me with a total of 147 posts. Though I was definitely in a better place by the end of 2008 than I was at the beginning of it, if I could summarize the events of the year it would be with one quote:

So what I’m basically saying is, we didn’t start drinking until almost 4.

It would be unfair, however to leave behind all of the wonderful insights I had from 2008. And so I present them to you now.

On Pride coming before a fall:

It has been two weeks since my camera took a near fatal leap on the rain-and-gay-soaked pavement of Dupont Circle

On new technology:

When presented with this mouse, I did the only thing a girl can do when she has a new mouse but no computer: I smelled it.

On home decorating:

my linens have basically been exiled from our home as B insists I let the table be “a table” – like adding placemats will cause it to suddenly be another item of furniture

On my weight loss:

Personally, I credit my progress toward decreasing my reliance on foreign oil and failure to decrease my reliance on domestic amphetamines.

On my future:

there’s that tiny part of me that just can’t let go of the dream of sunday morning sleep and cuddles ruined by two sets of tiny cold feet and messy curls. And there’s probably a dog too, and we would all be in white pajamas in white sheets and a big white comforter because all of my dreams look like a martha stewart ad.

On Fashion:

For example, if you are not as blessed with freakish height as I am, you should not try to wear a shoe that would enunciate that – like a box-toed basketweave flat sandal. Actually, I would prefer that no one ever wear said sandal.

On my internal pessimist:

When I picture her, I always imagine her as being this skeletal version of me (why eat if you’re going to die anyway?) who smokes using a long black Cruella DeVille-esque cigarette holder (because our weak, fleshy half gave up smoking for fear of heart disease, like we’re not going to die anyway) and wears Chanel clothing and Christian L shoes (always black, like our soul).

On fitness:

I just look at that and think, I too could achieve this level of perfection if I felt strongly enough about it to marry the treadmill.

On heat:

It’s obvious to me that my radiator has but two settings: off and Kill.

And so went 2008.

2009 meant major changes. Including the name and domain change. In what I assure you was a completely bloodless coup, I became the Domestic Empress and have ever since been on my rampage to overthrow Martha Stewart as this nation’s premier lifestyle expert. Oops, did I just say that outloud? Well, now the secret’s out.

4 amazing years of blogging – some of which you can revisit by clicking on the archives to the left. The rest I have preserved in the blog-o-vault where I will insist on keeping them. The past is the past, and the future is oh-so-bright.

Here’s to another year of Domestic Empress-dom! I’m already planning the fabulous things that will happen for our 5th birthday!

Tagged as: 4th birthday, a look back, blog-o-versary, highlights, The Domestic Empress: A History