Overcoming Negativity

Being on a serious weight loss journey is a really interesting thing. On some level I thought I would just start eating “better” – whatever that means- and then step back and watch the pounds fall away. I never guessed it would mean this whirlwind of emotions and facing inner demons and so forth.

Silly me.

I’m trying to process the emotional side of this journey just as much as I process the attempts at eating “better” and figuring out how to workout. Naturally, I want to bring my experiences here.

If you know anything about me it’s that I don’t always treat myself with the respect I deserve. I am impossibly hard on myself -expecting the world, demanding perfection, and putting myself through an emotional battery when I fall short of my astronomical standards.

I wish I knew where that came from, but I’m learning to let it go. It’s a process, one that takes daily decisions to let go of perceived failures and treat myself kindly.

Another lesson I’m sadly STILL learning the hard way is that when you don’t always respect yourself, other people don’t always respect you either.

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who haven’t treated me well. Some of them have moved on, others haven’t.

Before I found enough strength to start blogging about my weight loss journey, I would talk about it with friends. Most have been overwhelmingly supportive – but not everyone. I’m really sad to have to say that I let the few negative voices speak louder than the positive ones. I didn’t consciously decide to dismiss the supportive, loving things I’ve heard from so many of you – it just kind of happened. When I let the voices echo around my head, I don’t hear your uplifting words. Instead, I let the people who don’t have my best interests at heart weigh in. I let them speak on repeat.

But I can’t live my life like that. No one should. It’s time to silence the negative voices and take whatever scary steps I need to without regard for “what if.” I’m not saying I will dismiss the valid concerns of people who are genuinely concerned for my happiness and well-being, but I won’t let people tell me they think I “can’t” when I know in my heart that I can.

I owe it to myself to let you all speak up and encourage me. I need to surround myself with people who love and support me. That’s all there is to it.