Never Say Never?

Wow! After reading through all your responses (and sweet compliments!) on yesterday’s post I’ve made my decision – I’m not going to tan for the wedding. Instead I’m just going to focus on playing up my natural skin tone.

A mini-business announcement: I changed my Twitter account yesterday. I’ve been worried for a while that my Twitter account is far too personal (and full of junk, honestly) to be a good representative of me professionally. I’ve always thought of my Twitter account as an extension of this blog and have let it be reflective of me personally since I am the brand behind this blog. But as much as I love this blog and everyone who reads it, this blog is a hobby for me and probably always will be. So I opted to change my existing account name so it can remain an extension of this blog so you can keep getting those glimpses of “the girl behind the blog.”  Then I created a new account with my old name (@TheKateSullivan) so it can be my “professional” account that’s a better representation of me and my work.

So what’s the story behind the new name? Well, I’ve been wanting to re-brand my blog for a while but since I just blog what I want and don’t necessarily fit into one niche I wasn’t sure how to come up with a good blog name. But then I thought about everything that defines “me” and I thought of the Mix CDs I make. I have one from high school that’s simply titled “The Kate Mix” and it consists of – you guessed it – a little bit of everything. Which you know (unless you’re new here) is exactly what this blog is despite all of my efforts to find a niche and stick to one subject and get all focused and what not.

I’m not going to get all crazy and change my URL or RSS feed and all that because that’s a lot of work but I will be rolling out a new blog design with the new blog name and all of that within the next month(ish). I’m excited! So stay tuned.

And now, onto today’s thoughts. This too could have been a “things I’m afraid to tell you” post – but if you haven’t been scared away by my antics so far I can’t imagine this will bother you. 

This weekend I may or may not have watched the Justin Bieber movie. I won’t try to justify that, it just happened. But it also had a domino effect – I followed him on Twitter, and then I bought his new CD, and then I realized that there was something else I absolutely had to do. Because if you know anything about Justin Bieber you know that his fans are absolutely effing nuts. And do we all know what that means?

Fanfiction.

Fanfiction has gotten a lot more attention lately in the wake of 50 Shades. I’m only surprised it didn’t happen sooner. I have been reading fanfiction since 7th or 8th grade – it started with Hanson, then I transitioned to the boy bands, then to Eminem (and one really spectacular Nick Carter/Eminem crossover), and eventually Harry Potter. If you’ve been with me long enough you know I once tried writing my own HP fanfiction (gasp!).

If you’ve never let yourself delve into the trainwreck that is Fanfiction let me break it down for you: Fans create their own stories based on their favorite movie, books, tv shows, and/or celebrities and have varying degrees of success in doing so. Books like Harry Potter which have a multi-generational appeal have millions of works of high quality fan fiction – mostly because there are actual grown adults with lots of talent writing these stories. And as good as some of these stories are, they’re not my favorites.

My favorites are the ones written by girls between the ages of 12 and 18 because no one does obsessed quite like a teenage girl. There’s a special level of crazy that teenage girls have completely mastered and nowhere is that showcased more accurately than in their Fanfiction.

To be honest, most of these writers couldn’t carry a plot in a dump truck. But a typical storyline is as follows:

Take your average teenage girl who through a series of events meets and captures the heart/attention/lust of Justin Bieber. After a tussle with useless parents who are overprotective, absentee, or abusive, this girl will end up on tour with Justin (perhaps even having to run away to accomplish it).  But what began as a fairytale romance will soon dissolve as the “reality” of being on tour with a major celebrity start to sink in. Justin will have no time for the girl which leads her to reveal her eating disorder/secret cutting habit/horrible childhood trauma/recent rape/shadowy secret past. This will only become more annoying and harder to believe as the story goes on. As will her refusal to let Justin spend any money on her because she is just not that kind of girl and despite having a crippling lack of self esteem will choose that one area as the one where she intends to exert her independence.

Twist number one comes when Justin reveals himself to be abusive/a rapist/a murderer/an addict/to also have a shadowy secret past at this point. It will be SO HARD for the girl to decide if she wants to stay with him and be his girlfriend because she is SHOCKED that the paparazzi are paying so much attention to this celebrity and that all the fans hate her and that not everyone involved in Justin’s career absolutely adores her.

This is when one of many things will happen. Either she will get pregnant, go on a drinking/drugging/cutting/starvation bender and end up hospitalized, be kidnapped, find Justin cheating on her, let someone lie about Justin cheating on her or acting in other dishonorable ways, and all kinds of dramatic screaming, crying, gnashing of teeth will ensue. Justin will rush to her hospital bed and declare his undying love for her and demand to know why she cannot see how special and amazing she is. Then he will “write” a song for her that will sound suspiciously like a song by another artist on the radio and they will live happily ever after.

Until the sequel which will be so much like the first the author won’t even finish writing it.

Only imagine that whole thing riddled with typos and mixed up cliches and add a few twists and turns that don’t lead anywhere and are never mentioned again. Or if you’re really feeling wild, picture that whole story involving Justin realizing he’s gay and falling in love with a guy. There are tons of those stories out there too.

And though I’m adult and find it absolutely creepy and a little terrifying I simply cannot bring myself to look away. I’m fascinated by these stories with all of their drama and angst. The things that go on in these girls’ minds are incredible. I don’t want to think about what it means that they’re writing this way (cry for help? safe outlet for otherwise unhealthy feelings? should we just be glad they’re writing at all?), I just want to sit back and roll my eyes and try not to choke from laughing so hard.

Have you ever read (or better, written?) fanfiction? Are you a Justin Bieber fan (closeted or otherwise)? Is this going to be what ends our friendship?

Tagged as: fanfiction, justin bieber, twitter