In case you haven’t heard, once again the weather folk are predicting the end times for this area. I don’t want to offend those of you who are scrambling to repent just in case, so forgive me for not getting my panties in a bunch, but every time they start calling for “bad weather” and I see people freaking out I only have one thought:
If you’ve lived in Northern Virginia for any length of time you know that every time the weather changes here it’s cause for a wide-scale panic attack. We cry about the heat and humidity in August (hello, it’s Virginia in August – yes, it sucks). We forget how to drive when there’s rain – and then lose our shit when the sun comes back out because OMG who’s ever heard of sunglasses? And let’s not even bring up the S word because we all know how that went for us these past winters.
So if you see me over the next few days, this is pretty much what you can expect while the biddies are shanking each other for the Charmin:
Really I’m just prepared for us to be going about business as usual next week, acting like we didn’t all buy into that whole “the end is near” propaganda once again. The emotional reality of having to go on with life as usual while everyone was hoping for a day or two off work is normally the worst thing that happens to us.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not magical thinking. Yes, we could get some crappy weather and yes it could actually turn out to be pretty awful – but I think it’s premature to get hysterical. It’s also not like this is the first time this has happened to us. We’re relatively used to hurricanes in this part of the country even if we pretend like we’re not (see above).
Then again, it’s pretty easy for me to be cavalier about the whole thing because my reality is that if we were ever forced to shelter in place for an extended period of time we’d be set. It’s not a clinical psych diagnosis but I routinely accuse my parents of being pre-hoarders. Between being raised by depression-era parents and their military background and the “OMG GET ALL THE GAS REWARDS” incentive plans my parents have that mindset of “more is better” so we’re basically set for food and water in the event of an actual apocalypse. And given that it’s October, not August or February, we’ll be uncomfortable but totally okay without heating or air conditioning for a few days.
No, dear friends, my pre-storm worries are mostly along the lines of actual white girl problems – how much money can I spend on craft supplies to keep me entertained in case the Internet goes down? Should I count on the power going out and go ahead and print out all the Pinterest pins I want to try if we’re trapped indoors for a few days? How long will I have to watch everything on my DVR in case the storm knocks out all my recordings? Maybe we should go for sushi now in case there’s a shortage of untainted sushi grade fish?
Realistically, yes, I think it’s smart to be ready because you never really do know (not just about this weekend but in general) – but keep your pants on about it. Get what you need and stay home not because it’s dangerous to be out but because we don’t need any more idiots on the roads anyway. And don’t go thinking you can miss any deadlines at work cause then you really will look like you’re new when life goes on as usual on Monday morning.
What do you think, friends? Are you with me on this or do you think the meteorologists finally have it right this time?